Long live TLC

I attended the funeral for one of my best friend’s daughter yesterday, see was fourteen when she past away. It is so difficult to accept such an early ending to one’s life; she was a beautiful young person. Her father wrote the eulogy, it was remarkable. It was a reflection of his love for his daughter and the wonderful time they spent together. It captured so much of her personality, and the great loss he was going through. He also included a tribute to her mother and to her brother who at the time was eight years old. There was not a dry eye in the service at the end of the eulogy; mostly everyone could ponder the loss as it relates to them. I myself have a fifteen year old daughter, she is everything to me. I am able to see her parents in her and herself as an individual as she evolves into her own person. I do not even try to relate, the very thought is too much to comprehend. My heart goes out to my dear friend and his family for such an enormous loss.
As I traveled back from the services, it struck me as odd as I contemplated the sayings that people - more specifically myself - which people choose to live by. My saying is “death is good for your practice.” It is all about appreciating how delicate life is and focusing your daily awareness as a result. What struck me as so odd was prior to yesterday it made so much sense to me, but after yesterday it was just words. It was just a comfort blanket that I intellectually wrapped myself in. The confrontation of hugging my friend and feeling his pain for a brief moment as he cried on my shoulder made me realize that the words, the saying, would not prepare me for a similar reality. Maybe I should not be prepared for such a tragedy, I am still pondering that thought.
The gift that I did receive from the experience was the continued reminder to love as best capable one can. Not only the ones that mean the most to me, but to as many as I can. Life is so much easier when one can love, such less resistance. Then when life goes away, which it will for all of us, there is less baggage to carry and more gifts for others. I hugged my wife hard this morning as I reminded myself how lucky I really am. To have someone who cares about me and to have someone to care for is a true blessing. I have many to care for and many who care about me, I am truly blessed.

Quote from Annie Dillard

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."

The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee Beans

Author unknown:

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?' Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened
and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. 'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Aim I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.